How do you get to be so good? It’s all in the recovery ; how we recover from mistakes. I read a very interesting article on parenting recently. The message was how both parents provide different guidance. Mothers, for example, are there to nurture and be there to say, “It’s ok.” Fathers, on the other hand, are there to push the child, make them feel safe, and to help the child build that recovery from mistakes mentality. Both parents are equally responsible for how a child grows and becomes an adult. All this may seem obvious to most, but it’s […]

My grandfather died at 62 of Parkinson’s disease. My father died at 62 of Parkinson’s Disease and Paranoid Schizophrenia. By the time my grandfather was 35, he was having trouble playing catch with his son. His body had already started to fail him. Focused on his business (and a whole lot of gambling), he never spent much time with his son. Instead, he chose to write letters to my father as his method of sharing his thoughts on life, academics, sports, or just the choices he made in general. When I was in my early twenties, before my father lost […]

Steve Jobs once said, “When fishermen cannot go out to sea, they repair their nets. In simple terms, even if you’re not doing your main thing, always do something that relates to your main thing.” Do the main thing. Or always work on something that supports and enhances that main thing. That’s true focus. Look, there are days I don’t feel like I’m very productive. There are even some days when I feel like I don’t want to do much of anything at all! I just am a little burnt out; I need to rest, I’ll tell myself. But all […]

My son and I have had a challenging relationship these last few months. We’re butting heads and just not really getting along, which totally bums me out. He’s now 10, and I know he is trying to figure out his way, gain his power, and be his own man. I never had a father around. I never even had much of a male role model until I was 18. So, this is all new for me. I was sitting with a friend and longtime client the other day at lunch, and decided to share what was going on with me […]

I heard a quote the other day that struck me. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This really resonated with me. It is so easy sometimes to compare oneself to others. (Even if we’re just comparing our real lives to their “highlight reel” on social media.) They have this or that. This person had more success because he had this advantage or that. They had parents who helped or had a naturally better market. Taller than I am! Whatever. At the end of the day, you are good enough.  Your expectations are what they are, and you are exactly where […]

I was speaking with a friend and client of mine this week who is dying, suffering from a terminal disease. It was very interesting and insightful to hear about the things that matter most to him now near the end. I was shocked by some of what he shared, all that he told me. He’s been very successful in his life – a titan in business. But the feeling that he could have done more with his family, for his family, really haunts him. He cannot get that time back. It’s gone. And soon he will be, too. It’s sad […]

Just because you don’t agree with someone or something, it does not make you right and the other person wrong. Discourse and listening help perspective. That is where we begin to learn and grow. In today’s world, that has never been more important. Conflicting views are where we begin to learn. Different perspective is how we grow and begin to understand how others think and feel. Again, we do not have to agree.  But we should respect how that person feels. A few nights ago, some friends and I got into a spirited discussion about all that is happening around us. […]

If you’re surrounded by the right people, you can’t help but feel supported, inspired, and motivated to be your best self. I was reminded of this again last night at dinner. My coach said something to me that has really helped me focus on the right stuff, “Do you ever feel like your head is getting in the way?” I know I do. Too often, I find myself focusing on the negative, really struggling to get back on track. So, I started using this little trick to get my thoughts back to the “sunny side of the street.”  Whatever negative […]

Needs versus wants. Sometimes the line between the two can get blurry. For instance, I used to drink 10 or 12 shots of espresso a day. Every day! For those who know me, that probably makes no sense given how wired I am naturally. Funny story: Years ago, my assistant thought she would be slick by swapping out my espresso for decaf. It was a complete failure – I always knew it wasn’t the real thing (she still says I didn’t, but I did!). So, recently, I decided to stop all caffeine. I had some espresso on a Sunday morning […]

“This is what it’s all about,” he said. “This is why I pay you your fees.” I listened. “J.D., it’s not the performance – which has been great – or the wonderful dinners,” he continued. “It’s the ability to speak with you about anything and have you listen and advise. You have become my confidante.” This is what great advisors do. We advise. We listen. We guide. It is NOT about short-term returns, although those are important. It’s about giving long-term counsel, keeping them on track to hit their goals, while always adjusting to life. Those are the real results people want! This […]