My son and I have had a challenging relationship these last few months. We’re butting heads and just not really getting along, which totally bums me out. He’s now 10, and I know he is trying to figure out his way, gain his power, and be his own man. I never had a father around. I never even had much of a male role model until I was 18. So, this is all new for me. I was sitting with a friend and longtime client the other day at lunch, and decided to share what was going on with me […]

I heard a quote the other day that struck me. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This really resonated with me. It is so easy sometimes to compare oneself to others. (Even if we’re just comparing our real lives to their “highlight reel” on social media.) They have this or that. This person had more success because he had this advantage or that. They had parents who helped or had a naturally better market. Taller than I am! Whatever. At the end of the day, you are good enough.  Your expectations are what they are, and you are exactly where […]

I was speaking with a friend and client of mine this week who is dying, suffering from a terminal disease. It was very interesting and insightful to hear about the things that matter most to him now near the end. I was shocked by some of what he shared, all that he told me. He’s been very successful in his life – a titan in business. But the feeling that he could have done more with his family, for his family, really haunts him. He cannot get that time back. It’s gone. And soon he will be, too. It’s sad […]

Just because you don’t agree with someone or something, it does not make you right and the other person wrong. Discourse and listening help perspective. That is where we begin to learn and grow. In today’s world, that has never been more important. Conflicting views are where we begin to learn. Different perspective is how we grow and begin to understand how others think and feel. Again, we do not have to agree.  But we should respect how that person feels. A few nights ago, some friends and I got into a spirited discussion about all that is happening around us. […]

If you’re surrounded by the right people, you can’t help but feel supported, inspired, and motivated to be your best self. I was reminded of this again last night at dinner. My coach said something to me that has really helped me focus on the right stuff, “Do you ever feel like your head is getting in the way?” I know I do. Too often, I find myself focusing on the negative, really struggling to get back on track. So, I started using this little trick to get my thoughts back to the “sunny side of the street.”  Whatever negative […]

Needs versus wants. Sometimes the line between the two can get blurry. For instance, I used to drink 10 or 12 shots of espresso a day. Every day! For those who know me, that probably makes no sense given how wired I am naturally. Funny story: Years ago, my assistant thought she would be slick by swapping out my espresso for decaf. It was a complete failure – I always knew it wasn’t the real thing (she still says I didn’t, but I did!). So, recently, I decided to stop all caffeine. I had some espresso on a Sunday morning […]

“This is what it’s all about,” he said. “This is why I pay you your fees.” I listened. “J.D., it’s not the performance – which has been great – or the wonderful dinners,” he continued. “It’s the ability to speak with you about anything and have you listen and advise. You have become my confidante.” This is what great advisors do. We advise. We listen. We guide. It is NOT about short-term returns, although those are important. It’s about giving long-term counsel, keeping them on track to hit their goals, while always adjusting to life. Those are the real results people want! This […]

“We don’t see you enough,” my client and good friend said to me. “But have I fallen flat with any of my promises?” I asked. “No, not at all. And we know you’re busy. We just appreciate all the advice over the years and love having you check in,” they said. That’s it, isn’t it? It’s not a negative thing when people want you to reach out more when they want YOU. They just want to feel like you haven’t forgotten them. This is especially true as our clients and friends get older. They have less going on but more to worry […]

Years ago, my good friend Doug had a golf tournament for our office called the DVI. It was great. It was in La Quinta and all the guys came together for several days, playing golf, smoking cigars, and having great dinners. Just hanging out with one another and being together. Like many things in life, over time it came and went, and that incredible event ended some years ago. But for me, the memories remain, as I am sure they do for others. At the time, many of us were young and barely able to afford the golf, let alone the beautiful […]

Scott was incredible. Hard working. An accomplished pilot. A thrill seeker! He was also successful in the music business and a builder of businesses. Scott was fearless and a great leader. When I first met Scott, I knew this kid was going places. He was young and hungry and wanted to start saving as much as he could so that he could have the life he wanted. He wanted to buy the plane(s) that he would fly! And buy the hangar, too! Not just things but to put himself in a place to retire by 50, he would say often. When investing or saving, […]