I have tremendous guilt.
A dear friend and client passed away three weeks ago. He was young, smart. Too young, died of a heart attack.
As a good friend, I grieve the loss.
But as his financial advisor, I feel the guilt of not doing enough. Maybe I didn’t push him enough to secure his family’s future and buy life insurance.
His death has had a profound effect on me.
It’s not just the feeling of mortality, but that I could have and should have done more, pushed more.
But I didn’t. And I have never been known not to push!
Prior to his death, I was at a conference listening to an amazing talk from a dear friend and industry icon.
He, too, spoke of assisting and urging a client to make the right decisions to protect his family.
This client, with imploring, did execute the initial plan that was presented.
However, when the discussion around insurance for his non-working spouse was brought up, the client simply would not engage. Rather than fight him on it, he left it alone. He was too tired to continue engaging on the topic, running into a wall of resistance over and over.
So, he let it go and moved on.
A year later, his client’s wife died.
When this smart, aggressive, charismatic advisor went to visit his client after his wife’s death, the first words out of his client’s mouth were, “Why didn’t you push me like you’ve been pushing me on all the other planning? Why didn’t you make me buy insurance on her?”
For the first time in his career, he was speechless. And this industry icon and leader is not speechless much.
Sometimes, doing the right thing takes the dogged effort. We have a responsibility to not give up if we know it’s right, it’s in the best interest of our clients and their families.
Like with my friend who just passed away, I will always regret that I didn’t do more.
This weekend, I’m taking his boys, who just lost their father, to the Dodgers game. It will definitely be emotional and, honestly, not something I totally want to do.
But it is the right thing. It is what I would want someone to do for my family should the shoe be on the other foot. It is what is needed now.
Pushing is ok. It’s ok when the reason for that push is genuine, when it comes from the RIGHT place: the place of compassion and care. It’s fighting on their behalf even when they won’t or don’t see it yet.
With my friend’s death, I’m reminded to make the most of every relationship, every day, every opportunity to be better. Most importantly, care enough for those that mean the most to you.
You might not get another chance.
-J.D.