“The last 15 years have been the best 15 years of my life,” he said via text. “Sell everything and enjoy!”

That was the message my client and good friend’s brother-in-law sent to his wife just prior to taking his life two weeks ago.

So, why do I share this? We all must learn to talk. We all must learn to express. We all must learn to reach out and ask for help at times.

This man chose to leave behind his wife and five children, nieces, nephews, and countless others.

Clearly, he was experiencing pain that no one can understand and we can’t even try to make sense of it.

Communication and clear thought are so critically important. My daughter, who I have always viewed as exceptional, has struggled recently with challenges. She’s having a hard time in school, with her girlfriends, and just life in general as an 11 year-old.

So, we are actively taking the approach that she needs to talk and express where she is and why she feels the way she does. Too often in society, individuals are left without an outlet. Without someone to talk to and express all of their deepest and darkest concerns.

While I will never understand what went through my friend’s brother-in-law’s mind as he chose to take his own life, what I will choose to understand is this: those feelings and those dark places where most individuals go can be addressed with help, along with clear thought and communication.

It is not unmanly to share. You are not less masculine because you are hurting inside or feeling a certain way. It’s OK to experience challenging pain and sorrow.

It is not weakness; it’s strength.

My daughter and I were talking about how she was feeling a few nights ago when she asked if I ever cried. To which I expressed absolutely. Often.

It was amazing to me to see the look on her face in awe. Here I am her father who does not emote much feeling or expression however I told my little girl that I too cry and feel emotions at time that are challenging.

She even went as far as to ask, “Where did I cry?”  To which I responded, “Right here on the couch.”

She went on to ask why I cried. I explained that I cry whenever I feel an emotion that needs to be let out and released.

Let your emotions out. Let them be free of you. It’s OK to express. It’s OK to be vulnerable and to be sad and to have feelings.

I don’t want this message to be one going into the weekend that is of sorrow or sadness, I do want it to be one of opportunity.

Commit to sharing. Commit to caring. Commit to communication.

Commit to being with yourself and with your family.

-J.D.