A dear friend and coach, Chuck, has often spoken about the need to “re-program” your brain to get ahead. Re-programming is a necessity to get past self-limiting behavior, the stuff that holds you back.

I never fully understood what he was talking about until recently. You see, I’ve started thinking more about where I am now and where I came from.

Growing up in this business, really from age 15, working in a boiler room, and then starting full-time at 17, builds habits that in many ways are great. But, in some ways, it builds habits that are also very limiting. Especially as one gets older and more experienced in business and life. Family dynamics. Expectations. Just stuff.

You learn to build an incredible work ethic and how to handle adversity and objections in a way that most cannot. You learn to turn off your emotions and not take it personally. A true can-do attitude; there is simply nothing that can stop me.

While taking a rare morning walk with my wife the other day, the light bulb went off.

I felt guilty.

The day had begun. It was midweek, and I was not at my desk attacking the day (the way I had been programmed).

However, once the walk was done and I was back getting ready for work, I felt great. Like I had been reset.

So, I began thinking about some other limiting behavior.

In the house I grew up in, my mother did not drink much. She was up early and worked hard.

So, why do I have a drink most nights? Why do I make that choice? What other choices have I been making consciously or subconsciously that are limiting me from reaching my true potential?

The way we become successful, is seldom the way we stay successful. Whether in business or in life, change is inevitable. Your behavior must change. To move on from one’s past. To build back better. To become who you are supposed to be.

I was trained to be in the office at 6:30 am daily. Prepare for the day. Be on the phone by 9 am. See as many as I can. Always move forward.

The problem with being 30 years in this career is that the approach does not work if you are trying to grow and go to the next level. Why?

We have teams that have been built. Technology. Different kinds of clients and friends. Networking and being in different places are important. The work is “different.”  Clients expect you to be different and to operate differently.

At a most recent dinner, my close friend, client, CFO of an investment bank said to me, “I look forward to the day that one of your guys comes to meet with me instead of you. That will tell me that you are really doing well, and I am too small for you,” he said.

Every successful business evolves. Otherwise, in most circumstances, they cease to exist. The world now is different and the business has changed. Not only for those new advisors just starting out, those who are just at beginning, they must attack and build what is necessary. Do what is necessary; do what they do not want to do.

Think of Jeff Bezos and Amazon. Are they still an online book retailer? That 2 trillion-dollar company looks very different, and I am sure Jeff had to change to become the CEO he is today, versus what he was when he started.

That being said, what has become clear is you must have balance. I have a very successful friend who plays pickleball every day. Why can’t I take a walk every morning? Be in the gym every morning? What else?

The answer is, I can.

But it all starts with resetting who I am now to become who I need to be, no longer that kid that started making calls at 15 in a room with no windows, afraid of not having money his whole life. Of not being good enough, smart enough, capable enough.

I am good enough. It is ok. I can be more and do more. I should enjoy what I have built. I can build it bigger and better.

It is time to change my thought process to be who I can be.

But it all starts with those little self-limiting decisions, doesn’t it? All the little things.

Its time. I’m ready. Are you?

-J.D.