The year was 1990. I had my first job when I was only 13, working at a Baskin Robbins in Los Angeles.

The ice cream shop was close to my house so I would ride my single-speed black Schwinn bicycle to work every day.

I loved it; the feeling of independence, the feeling of making my own money, being my own man. There is just no other feeling like that. Maybe you can relate?

One evening, my boss decided to let me close the shop. I remember it like yesterday; the privilege of being able to be the last person there, counting the money, closing and locking up.

It was a huge responsibility and a vote of confidence, especially for a 13-year-old.

So, I was there alone, putting the cash and receipts down the drop box, when I felt what seemed to be a pipe or some kind of hard metal object against the back of my head.

“Don’t move and don’t look back!” an ominous voice said. “Just hand me the cash and open the safe.”

That was no pipe. I was being robbed at gunpoint.

Now, what that robber wanted that night was to take all of the store’s money. (It wasn’t much, as most of the cash was already in the safe and I didn’t have the code.)

But what he really robbed me of was my innocence, my sense of independence. I was helpless. It was a shattering, out-of-control feeling.

It happened so fast, and I had no other choice but listen and do what he demanded.

I gave the man what was available. He left without incident. I never even saw his face. The police came and filled out a report, and that was that.

Every little experience shapes us. They make us who we are and who we choose to be later in life. The smallest moments can alter the path we’re on.

The lessons that day shaped me for years to come, and still stay with me. What I experienced that night helped to make me the man I am today, good and bad. (I still cannot sit in a restaurant or in public with my back to an open room.)

But, in large part, I think took away more positives from that experience – as well as my first job.

1990 helped make me:

• Hard-working.
• Self-reliant.
• Protective of others.
• Careful.
• Wishful.
• Understanding of good and bad.
• And much more.

Today, at 46 years of age, I reflect on that night I was granted the responsibility of closing Baskin Robbins at only 13, as well as other life events that helped shape who I am.

That night has influenced most of my choices, including the people I allow in my life, the places I have been, and where I want to end up eventually.

I’m starkly aware that my kids will NOT have those same experiences as I did. But I’m also focused on somehow imparting the same lessons to them.

I want them to learn those same invaluable things through the RIGHT experiences. Or, at least the ones I can control, helping mold them into the best versions of themselves.

I hope the same can be said for me.

-J.D.