When I’m with my kids, I’m always telling them how incredible they are.

How smart they are.  How good they are at sports.

I do whatever I can to help bring their confidence up. I want them to always feel their best and be their best.

I remember as a kid not feeling as confident.

I was shy, never too sure of myself. Looking back, I understand why,

I remember writing a letter about one of my grandparents that had passed away and how proud I was of it. My father read it and told me not to be so impressed with myself.

I also remember going to “fat camp.” It was a place for kids that had eating disorder or were too heavy. My first day, one of the kids looked over to me and said, “Why are you here? You’re not fat.”

In high school, I felt I was never quite good enough. Academically or athletically, I just wasn’t as good as the others. I had to work harder just to keep up, where for most of my classmates it seemed that things came so easily to them.

As a young adult jumping into the working world, I failed my insurance exam; twice. Then, I flunked my securities exam twice, too!

Failure everywhere. Just never good enough.

But today, I have tremendous confidence in who I am. I try to do things differently, especially with my kids.

In our household, we do not let people comment about looks or intelligence. What’s the point? There’s nothing good that comes from it.

We try our best not to judge. We try to see the bright side. My kids know our mantra, “Dickers never quit.”

All of these things are due to the pain I carried (and still carry) inside about all the failure in my early life, those feelings of never feeling adequate, love always being highly conditional if it arrived at all. ‘Being the thinnest kid sent to fat camp.

But that overcompensation, that chip on my shoulder, has helped me excel.

That underdog, work-harder mentality applies to whatever I do, such as working out -I lift heavier and do whatever I can even as I have aged.

It’s led me to excel professionally.

Most importantly, it’s refined my focus to the point that not much gets me distracted. (Although I did not say that things don’t get me down from time to time, like everyone.)

The downside to all of this is the extreme way that I live my life.

It’s 1,000% or nothing. All throttle no brakes.

I never want to be seen as that “fat kid” again – by anyone, but most especially not by me.

Never in my life again do I want to feel that lack of ability or confidence.

I know who I am.

Good and bad, I know.

So, what I hope to impart on my children (and to anyone that is interested in listening) is that YOU are good enough.

And yes, it is nice to feel strong, successful, and confident.

But there is only one way to live and that is to ALWAYS live the best life you can.

And, without exception, I’m at peace with the knowledge that my good IS good enough.

-J.D.