One week ago, a dear friend of mine‘s son attempted suicide.

Incredibly sad. But I’m also incredibly thankful and fortunate that he didn’t succeed.

In debriefing with one of our mutual friends on what happened, we began talking about all the pressure that these young people must feel. It must be even more as they’re just getting ready to start out in the world as young adults.

Perhaps that pressure comes in the form of seeing the success of their parents and feeling, “How am I going to accomplish the same?” That hopelessness of inadequacy is probably even more pressing in the age of FOMO and social media.

Starting at a young age, these kids must wonder how they can possibly become the best versions of themselves, personally and professionally. Do they even have the tools to be successful in this new world they are entering? Or are they destined to flounder and fail?

During my friend’s son’s recovery, he expressed tremendous remorse for trying to take his own life and is most certainly glad to be alive.

Yet, he still had this burning question of “What’s next?”

I coached my son’s baseball game last night. I couldn’t put my friend’s family and his son’s situation out of my mind. It brought up unexpected feelings and emotions about my parents, and specifically my father.

When I was young, my father attended a sparse few of my baseball games and most certainly never coached any of them. That’s had an impact on what I do and how I think even to this day, and each and every day with my kids.

I am very conscious of trying to have a positive impact on my son, who he will become in the future, as well as the young men around him that I help coach.

What do I want my son to feel in the future? How will he handle things as he grows up? Have I given him the tools?

Look, we all want what’s best for our kids. With these boys I help coach, I praise them, but at the same time I am the firm one. I’m the one that makes sure they get in what they need to get in, to succeed with what is in front of them, what’s needed to win the day.

Tough love.

The most seemingly perfect families still have issues and concerns, even if they don’t share them publicly.

You can see it in sports and with the kids who come to the field every day. Some are just looking for an escape. Others desperately seek a connection or to gain a parent’s affirmation. But it’s seldom just about the game.

I think it’s our job, as friends, family, and just good people, to be there for them no matter what. We should do what we can to support and enliven those who are in pain, whether it’s obvious or not.

When my friend’s son gets out of the hospital, we’ll try to be there for him. I will. When things seem dark, we will be there for the family.

We will always try to be a light for those who need it most so their path in life may be a bit more visible, if not easier.

-J.D.