Recently, I have been having some real feelings about mortality.

Doing so draws out some of the biggest questions of the human experience.

What are we doing this all for?
Am I actually making a difference?
Is there more to life?

My daughter will soon be 11 and graduating fifth grade. That means we’ve been living in a new home, a new city, and a new state for about two years.

Honestly, it’s been a struggle. Some have even said that I seem on edge more than usual.

Why do I share this?

Well, I am closer to 50 than 40. Either way, I’m somewhere near the midpoint of my life.

I was always the “kid” in business. I identified with that, the disrupter prodigy.

But now, I am one of the “old dogs” and have been practicing my profession for almost 30 years.

I was always the old dad. Now, I am the dad with kids that are getting older.

Physically, I am strong. Mentally, I find myself asking more and more, “Is this really it?” or “Now what?”

We all struggle with this. I mean, look at all the life coaching, bio-hacking clinics, and fountain-of-youth programs out there. You may even be going through something similar.

At the end of the day, what it all comes down to for me is that I feel unsettled, not at peace with where I am, and unsure of what the future holds.

Again, why share all of this?

Well, as we age and move through life, we are all confronted with different experiences and people.

We can think of some of those people as investments and some of those people as bills.

Recently, I have really been more focused on those investments and trying to avoid those bills.

It’s a difficult place to be. I still want to be liked and viewed positively, but that’s difficult indeed as your circle closes smaller.

The realization of our own mortality is hard. Most of us go through this, and especially men, I think.

Seeing those around you age or pass away makes it more real for each of us.

Inevitably, it leads to reflection (if not crisis); the thought of not being where we want to be and unsure of how to get to the next level is confusing.

I am sure the answers are there. We just need to feel our way through it. Understand that this is part of the process, healthy, and even necessary.

Ultimately, feeling these feelings is new, and dealing with them, unfamiliar.

I find myself seeking answers to questions I do not seem to know.

The only clarity is that change is constant, and here.

Can you relate?

-J.D.